I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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