I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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