Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do herpes really smell.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm at about main and main street
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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