That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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