i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
