And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
