Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
