yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
