The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
