if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
