doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize