I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
