I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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