i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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