so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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