just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
