is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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