I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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