YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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