I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
