Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
