Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize