please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize