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Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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