why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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