this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
