Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm like, not good at living.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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