imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
