i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
