you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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