'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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