I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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