my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
being pregnant is like rehab
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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