So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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