You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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