U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
