We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
