You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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