Need sex. Gaining weight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
