So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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