Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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