my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
