I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
