I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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