Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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