i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
