you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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