Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
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If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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