Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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