i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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