I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
