he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
