Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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