you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
