Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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