I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
